Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Well, this is my first post as substitute GrammaStamper. I guess I should introduce myself: I’m Hank and I live with the two hairless monkeys (HMs for short) you call GrammaStamper and Dough-Head. (I see from previous posts that you shorten it to “DH” but at least we’re all on the same page here …)
GrammaStamper, or as I refer to her, Little HM, has gone away today. I think she must have scratched the furniture because she had to get an operation like I did 2 years ago. This time though, Big HM tells me it’s the knees. Her claws are totally useless so I don’t understand why the operation but I didn’t understand mine either, so go figure.
Oh yes, if you’re wondering: I understand what Big HM says; most of us understand what all creatures say. Trouble is he can’t speak Cat so I have a lot of trouble communicating with him. And with my vocal cords as they are, try as I may, speaking Hairless Monkey is just not an option. Typing is okay though. I often attempt to type a letter to him while he’s on the computer but he just pushes me off the keyboard. What a dullard! I mean, I know HMs aren’t noted for their intelligence but this one … well, let’s just say that pizza came without anchovies, if you know what I mean.
Little HM is doing fine. The operation went well, lasting from 9:00 am to 12:45. The surgeon told Big HM that her bones were “practically fused together” and that it was difficult but 100% successful. I, of course, was left here alone all day and only now is Big HM back. She’s resting at the hospital and hopefully has a good sleep, filled with dreams of catching birds and warming herself in front of the fireplace. Big HM tells me things went well in no small part due to the love and prayers from all you reading this.
Her craft stuff is open so I tried my paw at making a card. It’s tougher than it looks and without opposable thumbs, I may need some help. With Little HM gone, I’m planning a party for some of the neighbours. I really want to invite that back-and-white chick. She came over in the fall and tried to seduce me. I don’t think she knew I’ve been … well … altered. Still, she’s hot and my eyes are as keen as ever. But I do digress …
I’m planning an invitation card; maybe a pop-up thing but again, no opposable thumbs and Big HM is well … like I said, he’s not exactly dextrous, so I expect I may have to make it on the computer. I’ll let you know tomorrow.
Posted by Barb Kaszuba at 5:03 p.m.