Monday, November 17, 2008

Saving $

GrampaStamper here … I’ve got a bone to pick with you ladies …

Yesterday, we were watching “Sarah’s House” on HGTV. For those of you who haven’t seen this program, it’s about Sarah and her house and how she’s renovating it.

I used to think my DW was the only one who had trouble with mathematics but something came up in that program that caught my attention. Let me give you the short version …

Sarah is renovating her house. She noted that many, if not most, of her neighbours had backyard pools so she too wanted a pool. Her reasons were more towards enhancing the value of the property rather than “keeping up with thee Jones”. That’s a good thing. She was given a ‘rule-of-thumb’ of 10% of the property value for a pool. I forget the actual property value but it was between $550K and $650K. Being the TV renovating queen she is, she figured she could do this for $20K. She had plans drawn up and all was right with the world. Then the actual costs started to hit her with silly things, like local bylaws for fences. The estimate was soon just over $76K. She dutifully scaled her plans back and ended up with a backyard pool and cabana for $56K and … get ready … she shamelessly pronounced she SAVED $20,000!

Yes ladies, she SAVED $20,000!

She overran her budget by $36K and even overran the ‘rule-of-thumb’ by some $20K but she claims a WINNING DEAL!

Now my DW is something like that and Lord knows how much I’ve SAVED over the years but now I find this is bigger than just my DW!

My DW once bought a medium-expensive dress BECAUSE AN ACCESSORY WAS FREE! She SAVED money! Foolish me, I just thought the money went away but no … we SAVED again!

I think if you all look back at your own recent purchases, you may also find you SAVED money by buying something on sale. Well, let me give you all a short lesson in mathematics:

Joe the Plumber gets a FREE sample faucet and decides to replace his old faucet. Let’s say the retail price is $100. He does the work himself in just under 2 hours, in his spare time and so the job costs nothing. How much has Joe the Plumber saved?

Answer: NOTHING! He didn’t need the faucet in the first place!

Anything greater than NOTHING is SOMETHING!

It is ANTI-SAVING; it is UNSAVING!

It is SPENDING!

You NEVER save when you buy something! You might spend less than your neighbour for the same goods but you NEVER SAVE!

SAVING is when you PUT THE MONEY AWAY SOMEPLACE!

There are a few exceptions though:

- Buying hundreds of dollars of fishing gear to catch three pounds a year is considered acceptable.

- “Pimping out” your tractor is not considered excessive as long as the accessories are bought from a hardware store and not a trendy 'lifestyle emporium'.

- God made hops and malt and so when your DH wants a beer, help him along with his religious experience and run to the store and buy him beer and sing HALLELUJAH!

There may be an additional exception or two but you'll have to ask your DH for the details ...

Well, that’s my opinion of ‘gender specific spending’. Or at least, that’s my opinion until told otherwise by my DW!

- GrampaStamper

14 comments:

pescbrico said...

I have only one thing to say! LOL LOL LOL LOL !!!! :)

mudmaven said...

GrampaStamper you need to learn to keep things in perspective - kick back, have a brewski - it will all make sense to you someday!

THE COZY CABIN said...

GrampaStamper, haven't you learned yet that men never win in the saving vs. spending wars when it comes to us women?

Just teasing....your story and view are a hoot! I can just see you now "pimping out your tractor" ha ha.

ellie said...

Dear GrampaStamper,
I would like to know if you have been talking to my husband. He has trouble with the save vs spend rule too!!!

Mrs. Fence said...

You are too funny, Grampastamper! I won't be showing your story to my DH though, for fear he would agree with you...

Cindi said...

lol!! Grampa stamper..don't you know it's a proven fact men are better at math than women?? It's not our fault!!
lol
:)

Nancy (directmailscrapper) said...

Hey Gramastamper,

Haven't you ever heard the old adage that you have to spend money to make money? It's often true! How does that fit into your scenerio?

Enjoyed your post -- you are an excellent writer -- even if your logic is severely flawed.... :-)

shadoob said...

Dear Grandpa Stamper,
Although you wish to enlighten us with your vast wisdom, I must say that I agree with the other ladies...your logic is severely flawed.

Let's say (which really happened last week) that I had $400. to buy a new clothes dryer...but upon arriving at the store, I realize that a new GOOD dryer would cost at least $700.00 and that the extent of a dryers capability actually rests in the job done by the washer..so, I realized that I had to purchase a dryer AND washer..both being $700.00 each.

I will use less water, less soap and less electricity over the years. A SAVINGS indeed!

So, although I originally had $400. and ended up spending $1500.00, I did indeed save a lot of money over the long haul. See...it all makes sense.

Lesa said...

I am still giggling. You never fail to make me laugh. I understand your (man) logic but in the end the woman is always right. LOL

Anonymous said...

Shadoob: I guess I have to admit the washer-dryer set will actually save you money considering the alternatives. Even I don't think the "rocks in the river method" is an alternative.

.., hmmm ...

... unless...

Do you think GrammaStamper can be convinced to use an ice-auger?

- GrampaStamper

Shelly N. said...

how hilarious, I recognize this logic, get hit with it all the time. AND I am still not convinced. ROTFL It's a man thing.

Tami Bayer said...

Hehehe! My guys have been saving lots of money by bringing home ocean dwelling fish that they catch, clean, and put in the freezer for future meals. I think the last trip netted $30 per pound fish. Of course we don't include the cost of the actual fishing equipment in that tally, just the ocean going vessel expense.

NormaJ said...

You're a hoot GrampaStamper, but
you will never win the battle of
women's logic vs. man's necessities. They seem to run a
parallel in my eyes. Both can be
looked at as the perverbial wool over the eyes.
P.S. Good to hear from you again.
LOL

Pat said...

You are just too funny...perspective dear man.. perspective!!!